Do "Soulmates" Really Exist?
Where did this idea of come from? And does it have any impact on your relationship?
CULTURE & KNOWLEDGE
There are more than 7 billion people on this planet. The idea that one of them is capable of fully completing you can be both exciting and unsettling. But if you think like that, you’re not alone! A 2021 poll found that around 60% of Americans believe in soulmates, and it’s certainly a common theme in movies, books, and TV shows.
So, where does the idea of partners as soulmates come from?
The ancient Greeks and human’s search for wholeness
According to experts, one of the earliest records of the soulmate idea comes from Plato.
Picture this: humans with four arms, four legs, and two faces. Sounds like a scene from a sci-fi movie, right?
Legend has it that these superhumans were so powerful that they made the mighty Zeus himself tremble in fear of a rebellion!
So what did he do? Like any self-respecting god, he decided to split the creatures into two halves, leaving them to search for their other half for all eternity. Romantic, isn't it?
The long-lasting takeaway from this tale is that we’re all incomplete until we find our soulmate. That person who completes us fills in the gaps and makes us feel whole.
“To be happy in Married Life… you must have a Soul-Mate”
Even though the idea originated quite a long time ago, experts believe that one of the first uses of the word itself was in 1822– by the English poet Samuel Coleridge.
He knew that a happy marriage required something deeper and more magical–something that transcended the practicalities of everyday life.
And his way of thinking was in line with the time!
“It was around the 19th century that people started considering love, rather than convenience, as the ideal reason to get married in the first place”
Did you know that throughout most of history, relationships and marriage weren’t much more than a practical contract? Thinking of partners in a relationship as two people that can make each other whole, like two pieces of a puzzle, is something rather new.
Can you imagine? Until then, relationships were all about social, economic, or political usefulness.
However, new ideas of freedom and self-discovery led people to look for something more. They wanted love, connection, and intimacy with their partners.
But what does psychology say about soulmates?
The concept of a soul is a very spiritual one, so it’s not easily studied by scientists. Still, there’s a lot of research on how believing that your partner is ideal for you can affect your relationship.
Psychologists found that when you see your partner in a positive light, it’s easier to overcome issues and deal with problems together. Believing that your partner is “the one” might increase your commitment and give you the strength to push through difficult times.
But there can be a little catch.
Thinking that your relationship is destined or fated to be a certain way may not be a very good thing. When you come across issues with your partner –as we all do– it can lead you to believe that things will be like that forever.
On the other hand, people who think that relationships take work and effort and know that there will be problems and you will have to work on them tend to be happier and more satisfied with their partners.
Every relationship has issues from time to time, and if believing that your partner is your soulmate gives you the power to overcome them, then we’re not here to prove you wrong!
But keep in mind that even soulmates can have flaws and that relationships take time and effort. Studies show that the key to a happy and long-lasting relationship is to put in the work.
Sources:
-Venaglia, R. B. (2016). Relationship Expectations and Relationship Quality. Review of General Psychology.
-Theconversation.com. 2019. What’s behind the belief in a soulmate?
-YouGovAmerica. Do Americans believe in the idea of soulmates?
