Want to Share Your Child's Life Online? Here’s What You Need To Know!
Sharing pictures and videos of your children online may seem harmless and keep you close to loved ones. But where do you draw the line?
SOCIAL DYNAMICS
“If it’s not on social media, did it even happen?!”
It all started with small posts on Facebook back in 2004. Since then, it has only got bigger- thanks to Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, and many other platforms for publishing images and videos. These days, social media accounts are much like our good old scrapbooks-they’re used to document every detail of a kid’s life, often from the moment they are born.
Every day online, we see pictures and videos of kids-some we know, some we may never have met. Someone took their first steps, someone had a trip to the zoo, someone ate candy floss, or someone jumped in a muddy puddle.
And this trend of sharing your child’s life on social media even has a name-Sharenting; that’s a combination of sharing and parenting.
But what’s wrong with sharing a few pictures? Everyone does it. It’s no big deal, right? Actually, sharing online is as good as taking out an ad on a billboard by a highway. And not just any highway that some people will drive down, but one that potentially the whole world could drive up and down, now and in the future.
So, even though it might not seem like a big deal most of the time, sharing too much or too personal information about your child's life can sometimes put you or, worse, your child in a tough situation.
In fact, some countries like France have begun regulating sharenting, where parents can be fined (even up to 45,000€) and jailed if their children decide to sue them for breaching their privacy when they’re older.
But why do we do it?
Well, parents feel proud and admire their children-nothing extraordinary about that. So, they get tempted to share some pictures and let others share in the joy.
Plus, sharing is really easy. Just a few clicks and the pictures are online within seconds. It’s also pretty practical when you can reach so many people at once and fill them in on your children’s accomplishments and what’s new in their life.
Through sharenting, parents also can get in touch with like-minded people and get emotional support.
One study found that when new mothers receive likes and positive comments on their babies’ pictures, it validates them as good mothers and makes them feel supported. For new parents, sharenting can help to deal with the social isolation they face when their kids are still young. So, a desire for interpersonal connection makes them want to overshare during that time.
And also, by posting about family activities and how they help their kids deal with educational challenges, parents may want to flaunt how competent they are as parents.
What’s more, it can also be a source of income. Influencers may earn meaningful amounts from brand partnerships by sharing their family lives online.
What consequences can sharenting have?
The internet has many advantages. But it has risks too.
“Once you share something online, it can be very difficult to completely erase it in the future.”
The paradox is that most social media platforms don’t allow those under 13 years of age to create profiles. But by sharenting, the small protections offered by the restrictions of these social media platforms are negated.
For example, posting pictures or videos of children can put their safety at risk. Through the posts, criminals or ill-meaning people can get information about the kids-their names, ages, the school they study in, their behaviour, and so on. And they could use this information to make contact with your child.
Think about it. If a young child comes across a stranger who appears to know them because of the things their parents post online, the child could believe that they really know them and fall into bigger danger.
Of course, parents don’t mean any harm when they share posts about their children with others. However, they may not be taking into account their child's perspective.
Apart from safety issues, what seems amusing to adults might be embarrassing and shameful for children; if not now, then maybe some years down the line. Depending on where the posts were published, they may still be accessible years or even decades later.
In most cases, sharenting involves younger kids, who are either unable to give consent or don’t know what they’re consenting to. For example, you might want to post a picture which might be embarrassing for the child.
Also, when parents document and share their child’s life online, they are sort of creating a narrative around their character which the child hasn’t built for themself. For example, portraying that the child likes sport or is a mummy’s boy. If parents have established an online identity for their child before they want to build it on their own, the child may think that the world has a specific perception of them.
This can also impact their sense of individuality and feeling of independence. They may also start withholding information about their lives from their parents so that they can have better control over what’s posted about them and what’s not.
Responsible sharenting is the way to go!
As with everything else online, the key is to set boundaries. Here are a few tips for a safer, more conscious sharenting:
Get the go-ahead from your child
So when you think about posting something about your child, first consider whether they are old enough to understand what this means. If yes, explain to them what you plan to post and who will be able to see it. Try asking them how they feel about it and talk with them about the possible implications. Be sure to respect their wishes if they say "no".
Think twice before posting
Ask yourself what your goal is in sharing that post, who will see the post, and if you’d worry if the post is seen by the wrong person. If you feel that any of those things raises a red flag, don’t share the post.
Avoid posting something negative, critical, or revealing
And that includes their health concerns, difficulties at school, or your criticism of their behaviour. This violates your child’s privacy.
Avoid oversharing
Make sure never to share sensitive information on social media like your child’s full name, address, birthdate, or anything else that hackers or criminals could use. Avoid publishing images of children, especially in intimate or private moments (for example, with little or no clothing).
Monitor your contact list
And regularly filter and sanitise your list of contacts and friends on social networks. Because it’s they who’ll have access to what you post. Also, try not to add into your network people you don't know.
Make use of privacy settings
They might not be foolproof, but take maximum advantage of the privacy settings on social media so as to limit who sees your posts.
When we live in a digital world, not indulging in a bit of sharenting can seem challenging. But, in the end, it’s all about making mindful choices, keeping in view the long-term repercussions we may have to face.
Sources:
-Walrave M, Verswijvel K, et al. (2022). The Limits of Sharenting: Exploring Parents’ and Adolescents’ Sharenting Boundaries Through the Lens of Communication Privacy Management Theory. Frontiers in Education.
-Siibak A, Traks, K. (2019). "The dark sides of sharenting." Catalan Journal of Communication & Cultural Studies.
